|NOTE: This blog was previously published under the [JESSE 2.0] blog at http://jessetwopointoh.blogspot.com but has been absorbed into Jesse's main blog for archival purposes. You can read all Jesse 2.0 entries here.|
"I get it... the meaning of Christmas is... the idea that Christmas has meaning, and it can mean whatever we want. For me, it used to mean being with my Mom. But now it means being with you guys."
-- Abed, "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"
I'm always pleasantly surprised at how deep the comedy "Community" can cut emotionally. This comment by the show's stop-motion-animated character last night sums up what I'm feeling during this first Christmas after my divorce - and a realization that may have allowed my heart to grow like a little like the Grinch. Ironically, the image of him above looks a little like me today.
At first I tried to avoid Christmas completely, but it's impossible to do that here in the U.S., and eventually its warm, pine-scented tentacles got to me. I still didn't decorate, but I put up a string of USB lights at work and at home, and a pink Christmas Tree for my Flamingo collection. I still didn't listen to Christmas music (when possible), but I am watching the Christmas-themed TV shows that I normally have on my weekly list.
So what is Christmas to me this year?
Relaxation and good food. While I'm watching those shows on TV today and tomorrow, and a few flakes of snow are falling outside, I'll be preparing my favorite meal, a spicy pasta dish, to go with some Christmas cookies and candy I'll be enjoying later today and tomorrow. To go with that, a couple of movies I've been wanting to see ("Inception" and "Devil"), a stack of magazines, and my cat Star on my lap.
True, today he is my only companion, but that doesn't bother me, and I'd rather be here relaxing than anything else. This is probably another blog entry, but I think I'm finally comfortable with myself -- getting back something that I had earlier in my life, growing up as an only child. And that... may be the best present of all.