The Meaning of Christmas [JESSE 2.0]

NOTE: This blog was previously published under the [JESSE 2.0] blog at http://jessetwopointoh.blogspot.com but has been absorbed into Jesse's main blog for archival purposes. You can read all Jesse 2.0 entries here.

"I get it... the meaning of Christmas is... the idea that Christmas has meaning, and it can mean whatever we want. For me, it used to mean being with my Mom. But now it means being with you guys."

-- Abed, "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas"


I'm always pleasantly surprised at how deep the comedy "Community" can cut emotionally. This comment by the show's stop-motion-animated character last night sums up what I'm feeling during this first Christmas after my divorce - and a realization that may have allowed my heart to grow like a little like the Grinch. Ironically, the image of him above looks a little like me today.

At first I tried to avoid Christmas completely, but it's impossible to do that here in the U.S., and eventually its warm, pine-scented tentacles got to me. I still didn't decorate, but I put up a string of USB lights at work and at home, and a pink Christmas Tree for my Flamingo collection. I still didn't listen to Christmas music (when possible), but I am watching the Christmas-themed TV shows that I normally have on my weekly list.

So what is Christmas to me this year?

Relaxation and good food. While I'm watching those shows on TV today and tomorrow, and a few flakes of snow are falling outside, I'll be preparing my favorite meal, a spicy pasta dish, to go with some Christmas cookies and candy I'll be enjoying later today and tomorrow. To go with that, a couple of movies I've been wanting to see ("Inception" and "Devil"), a stack of magazines, and my cat Star on my lap.

True, today he is my only companion, but that doesn't bother me, and I'd rather be here relaxing than anything else. This is probably another blog entry, but I think I'm finally comfortable with myself -- getting back something that I had earlier in my life, growing up as an only child. And that... may be the best present of all.

Me, getting the Christmas Tree at Age 13

[JESSE 2.0] We're Here Not To Help You

One of the big things still hanging over my head from the divorce is the mortgage. My ex left me the house, but without her income I can't afford it.

Wells Fargo has a slogan along the lines of "We're Here To Help You." Well, I'm not sure that's true. A month after the divorce, I applied for a "loan modification" (a government program where they radically lower your monthly payment by doing things like extending 30-years to 40 and reducing rates to as low as 2%).


Four months, 25 phone calls and 155 pages of paperwork later (see above), I'm getting nowhere and still not able to afford the mortgage. Cash reserves are running low and I'm going to go into foreclosure for sure in early 2011. It's a shame that I couldn't have been trying to sell the house this whole time but they insisted that they could help me keep it.

They've requested the same paperwork over and over, and additions to the paperwork, and corrections to the paperwork. The last stalling point was that they said they couldn't submit it because the gov. required the Divorce Decree. I sent them that on November 26, and haven't heard anything since then, despite leaving several messages each week for the person assigned to my account.

Friday I called the main number asking if they could get me a status. They said they would send her an email and I should give her a couple days. They said on the call "I see your account is in good standing and you are not in foreclosure." I replied "Well I'm going to be if you guys don't hurry it up. :)" Not sure I spoke the smiley correctly. I think Wednesday I'm going to call in and ask to speak to a manager.

If they don't get back to me I won't have enough time to sell the house and will have to foreclose. I don't want to get behind on my payments though, because I'm sure they'd take that opportunity to disqualify me.

I shouldn't be surprised because of what you hear on the news about the big banks trying to shaft people on mortgages, foreclosures, refinances and modifications. But I thought that Wells Fargo was one of the better companies - the lesser of several evils, because I don't hear their name as much. Maybe not.